summer is coming, parties are errupting everywhere and so i feel it is my duty to provide party survival tips for everyone, this is the steriotypical "dont mix your drinks" sort of thing, it is a guide to how people behave when drunk, let the roasting begin:

me: well you dont know what your like when your drunk becoz your too drunk to remember, when im tipsy i seem flirty and try to be sociable, and apparently im more down to earth and normal when drunk.

tom: most common word heard by drunk tom "HUG", he gets very sociable, VERY sociable, everyone prefers drunk tom as he doesnt seem to get angry, all he would need to do is loose his ego and we would keep him drunk all the time.

simsay: ive only seen simsay drunk once and he is a mean drunk, when confronted with this fact he admitted he had started a fight with damien over nothing, he didnt remember also starting a fight with me and thwacking bob, and i wasnt the at my most observant during that party so there could be other things.

if anyone has any information of the drunken nature of george, damien, bob or muz please tell me.

laki: out of it, after several drinks he lives somewhere further than the moon and spends his time naming people and talking of potatoes and lemons, generally ok although he can get angry quickly.

laura: fun fun fun.

gemma: usually turns up drunk, spends 3 mins insulting me, pukes and spends the rest of the night collapsed in the arms od whatever boy shes with at the time.

hardy: he become the happy aggressive, he will take a swing at anyone and laugh if it connects, talk to him in the right way and endure a bit of pain he can be fun.

will: annoying enough sober

ok so it didnt go that well, it was a good idea at the time, tell me if i missed anyone

this is just a quick entry to announce that in light of recent events the universe and i have called a ceasfire.

i will no longer accuse it of trying to make me gay because it has obviously stopped.

HUZZAH

i thought that i would do something worthwhile, but instead i just thought i would do another quiz, this time with no serious answers

1. Honestly, what colour is your underwear?
> no
>
> 2. Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
> bone, skin and hair, in that order
>
> 3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?
> splunking, what do you think im doing
>
> 5. Honestly, do you think you are attractive?
> no (i know i am, shut up i can be egotistical too)
>
> 6. Honestly, have you done something bad today?
> yes, i had impure thoughts about the olsen twins (penance is required)
>
> 7. Honestly, do you watch Disney channel?
> honestly, do you start all your questions with honestly (i dont watch the disney channel)
>
> 8. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?
> the real question is am i not jealous of someone right now (awnser, only tom, im glad im not him)
>
> 9. Honestly, what makes you happy most of the time?
> when you say honestly, ooohhh do it again
>
> 10. Honestly, do you bite your nails?
> oh god yeah
>
> 11. Honestly, what is your mood right now?
> turned on and about to burst
>
> 12. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder?
> my dominatrix tells me so but i think its just an excuse
>
> 13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very minute?
> see above
>
> 14. Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
> yes, nobody knows my real name is corky, oh dammit

> 15. Honestly, do you have a friend you don't actually like?
> god dam it tom your such an emo

> 17. Honestly, are you loyal?
> thats not the point, what happened to 16
>
> 18. Honestly, are you in denial?
> no of course im not in denial (ooh the paradox)
>
> 19. Honestly, where would you rather be right now?
> anywhere but FUCKING FAREHAM
>
> 20. Honestly, do you like someone?
> honestly can you stop saying honestly
>
> 21. Honestly, does anyone like you?
> no seriously its getting annoying
>
> 22. Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?
> for fucks sake i can fucking lie whether your saying fucking honestly or not, its a fucking waste of fucking typing, its not fucking sensical, just fucking stop it *breaks down and starts crying" pep pill time, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>
> DIFFERENT EMOTIONS SURVEY
>
> *Anger Section*
>
> 1. What do you do when you're mad?
> phone that old lady from the titanic and tell her she sucks (im not coming within 100ft of her so im not violating the restraining order)
>
> 2. What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad?
> oh poor jimmy, he will never be the same again
>
> 3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?
> yeah i once told tom santa claus didnt exist, he cried for a week
>
> 4. Do you swear when you're mad?
> see question 22
>
> *CRYING SECTION*
>
> 1. When was the last time you really cried your heart out?
> when they cancelled the cosby mysteries
>
> 2. Ever cried yourself to sleep?
> no, my dad always thrashed me to sleep with his belt
>
> 3. Do you cry when you get an injury?
> depends where the injury is
>
> 4. Do certain songs make you cry?
> 99 bottles of beer boogie
>
> 5. What usually makes you cry?
> you really havnt been listening have you
>
> *Happy Section*
>
> 1. Are you normally a happy person?
> define normally
>
> 2. What can make you happy?
> shiney things
>
> 3. Does being with your friends make you happy?
> no i hate every minute with them and only hang about with them for an increased chance of survival when the zombies come
>
> *Self-Esteem Section* (hmm somethings wrong here)
>
> 1. Is your self-esteem extremely low?
> ill tell you when i find it
>
> 2. Do you believe in yourself?
> i believe that i exist and am sitting here doing this quiz
>
> 3. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you deny it?
> now your just teasing me
>
> 4. Are you one of those people that think they are ugly, dumb, and gross?
> no im nowhere near that cool


well that was fun, now i must go, simon say kiss the nearest living thing

and simsay wanted me to do it as well.

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"passenger" thats is, its the bottom half of a dictionary description of air rage.

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, what are you touching?
deoderant

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
a documentary on beavers, i misread the title in my sky planner

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
18:15

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
18:13 (ok i may have looked at the time when reading others journals but its a natural reaction)

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
a god dam annoying fly buzzing around my head

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
the hokey kokey on my doorstep

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
other peoples survays

9. What are you wearing?
clothes

10. Did you dream last night?
i did, i wish i hadnt

11. When did you last laugh?
just now when i squashed that annoying fly

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
fly corpses

13. Seen anything weird lately?
i live in fareham, the locals consider it weird if the moon "aint cresent shaped like darn be carved on me tractor"

14. What do you think of this quiz?
better than maths revision

15. What is the last film you saw?
team america, world police

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Let's see:
ultimate house of fun, im talking about a giant pool with a raised trampoline next to it, no stairs only firemans poles and large springs, padded rooms, my very own tiger pit and no sentimental stuff so i can have giant drunken parties without worrying about what gets damaged, naturally im going to be selfish and not buy my friends presents...

fine,
ill get simsay a publishing house so he can write and publish books and make a good living of it (i will also pay for marketing)
damien gets all the mail order schoolgirl panties he could ask for
george gets body armour to go with all the weapons every seems to get him, and a grooming comb (prrrr)
tom gets playboy in the hope that the next generation of Hef wont be emo.
zac gets the muppets, as in i will buy all the original puppets (puppeteers included) and all rights to make another series
dan gets the rights to all of nirvanas songs and a judicial review to legally change his name to kurt kobain (i know its spelt wrong)
arthur gets his own weight in pop tarts to be eaten in as short time as possible (televised, of course)
will gets ownership of the conservative club in dublin
and finally i will get peter a personality

17. Tell me something about yourself that I don't know:
i am ideologically opposed to eating funghi

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
make it so cream eggs are sold all year round and get rid of that crappy cream egg bar idea

19. Do you like to dance?
not in public, or when i think someone is watching, or in my house, or an enclosed space, or on my own or in private.

20. George Bush:
worldwide dictators you said george bush our survay said, DING, he's there you go to the big money round.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
I SWEAR I USED A COMDOM

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU HAD A VESECTOMY

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
well not in america and i dont know any foriegn languages but you never know, um cyprus?

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
hello, now rachel stevens is waiting for you with a puppy and a vodka by the milkshake swimming pool, but dont worry im sure things will get better later on.

25. 6 people who must also do this in THEIR journal: well everone i know has been tagged except

yeah

today was my maths day, i had to learn a years worth of statistics maths for my test tomorrow, time for a timeline.


9:00 woken up by mum (pissed off) had to walk with her to the bank as she was carrying a lot of money and wanted someone to sacrifice to theives as she runs away.

10:back from bank, mum has a counciling client so i go back to sleep.

11:00 mum finishes counciling, i am forced to awaken and do some work.

11:20 lunch, pizza watching scrubs. double episode on sky one.

12:30 back up to my room to revise.

12:40 get bored and go on the internet to look at webcomics.

13:02 mum comes upstairs, revise for a short while.

13:10 found a cool game called shadow of the warrior (dam it).

14:00 second lunch in front of tv.

15:00 actual revision for an hour (covered a whole chapter).

16:00 back onto shadow of the warrior (dam thats addictive).

17:30 snack.

18:00 episode of south park on video.

18:30 driving lesson.

19:30 dinner eaten in fron of more episodes of south park.

20:30 bath.

21:30 revision.

now: lost (tv series on channel 4, not wandering off)

so i feel very optomistic about my exam tomorrow, well i want to watch lost now, cya.